How I keep from tipping over on the merry-go-round of my life

When people say to me, "I don't know how you do it", I want to grab them by their shoulders, look them in the eyes, and say, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!?"

I may look like I've got it all together on certain days of the week, but I am no Superwoman. I yell, cry, stress, toss-and-turn, fret and wave the white flag at regular intervals.

But, things are definitely getting better.

I've found some balance in my life by paying close attention to my needs and how those needs can be fulfilled without totally throwing my family into chaos. For instance, I may "need" to go lie on a beach for a week, alone, but that would not really work with three young kids who can barely get ready for bed without calling my name a dozen times.

So, here's some things I've done to help me keep my sanity and maintain some balance in my life without running off to the Caribbean:

1. Work. It seems to defy logic that I'd take on a part-time job to help feel more balanced, but doing something outside of mothering feels great.

2. Get help. I use some of the money I earn to pay for house cleaners to come once a week. Extravagant? Sure. But, with my husband working full time and going to school, the stress of keeping the house up (mostly) on my own was weighing heavily on me. I may bid the cleaner a sad adieu when his schooling is done, or maybe I'll figure out a way to justify it even then.

3. Blog, Facebook and Twitter. Almost all good things that lift me up since I have the greatest readers and nicest friends (online and off).

4. Reality TV. I don't know why Reality TV is such a fix for me, but when I need an hour or two to unwind, you can find me on our sagging green couch with Top Chef or Rock of Love on the tube.

5. Sleep. Oh sleep. I always hesitate to talk about sleep around other moms because, well, it sucks if you aren't getting any. Believe me, I remember those days well. And, not every night is dreamland, but, for the most part, I can get a solid eight hours if I just get off the computer and go to bed. And, feeling rested in the morning is probably the best way to get me back on track.

So, with that, I'd best sign off for the night and see if sleeping will hit the "reset" button to my brain once again.

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This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network as part of a sweepstakes sponsored by BOCA. Visit BOCA’s “Balanced Living” site to enter the BOCA “Balanced Living Challenge” for a chance to win the grand prize of $5,000!

Because Resolutions shouldn't make you feel like dirt

"I'm too flabby."

"My hair is a fright."

"I'm a selfish, antisocial, procrastinating mess."

Looking back at the New Year's Resolutions I made, it's no wonder that, two weeks later, I don't want anything to do with them. Thinking about all the ways I need to "fix" myself was like surrounding myself with bad karma.

Instead of trying to change myself, I think I need to rethink this whole Resolutions concept. And, I'm going to include the family with me as we work on doing more things for other people, rather than worrying so much about ourselves.

We're getting off to a good start.

For one, when I was given an unexpected supermarket gift card, I decided to use that money to buy food for our town's Food Pantry. I brought the kids with me to the store, and we watched our $50 turn into a modest pile of pasta, tomato paste, peanut butter and cereal boxes. We then brought the food to the Food Pantry, so that the kids could see that even in our town of relative comfort, there are people who do not have enough to eat.

Sure, I had to answer a lot of questions, such as when five-year-old Jilly asked (loudly), "Why don't some people have money?" as we passed through the small but clean corridor. But, I think that physically going to the Food Pantry was a powerful moment for us all and made the fuzzy concept of "doing something for others" a bit more real.

Other things we have done and/or plan to do in 2009:

* we gathered some toys and books the kids had outgrown and brought them to our local animal hospital to help fill their empty toy box. The kids loved knowing that children would have something to do while they wait for news about Fluffy or Spot.

* I've been a volunteer for Chemo Angels and just had my first chemotherapy patient "graduate", meaning she is newly cancer free. When I sign myself up for another patient, I am going to ask for a parent or grandparent of young children, so that the kids will have children to send notes of support to as well.

* we have visited our local MSPCA with donations of clean towels, sheets, blankets, paper towels, dog and cat toys. I never, ever want my kids to "buy" an animal from a pet store when there are so many unwanted animals sitting in shelters. I can think of no better way to imprint this on their minds than to show them the cages of cute kittens, soft bunnies and barking dogs. It's hard, but it's real.

* a local dry cleaner took our outgrown winter coats and, after cleaning them, donated them to families in need.

Hopefully, I will look back on 2009 with pride at all we did as a family and not pick myself apart for all the things I didn't do. Although, hopping on the exercise bike every now and then may not be such a bad idea.


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Let Santa help you out after Christmas

It usually happens around January 3rd.

My house, which looked so festive around the holidays, starts to feel out of season, like the girl who is caught wearing white capris in November. I want to tear everything down, pack it away and get on with the business of a New Year.

And, yet, trying to do it all at once is overwhelming and definitely not fun. Therefore, I've come up with a little system for packing away our holidays that works so well, I had to share it with you.

I call it SANTA.

S: Slow Down. Did you know that the "12 Days of Christmas" mark the days from Christmas to January 6th? This means, technically, Christmas doesn't really end until the 6th, so there is no need to go tearing through the house in the days after to stash everything out of site. Do it little-by-little, when time allows. Do not, I repeat, do not become the person who takes down her tree Christmas night. Otherwise, other people (namely, me) will talk about you.

A: Allocate. I set aside a space in our basement that is for Holiday Decor only; nothing else is allowed to fill that space. Sure, I have to move 10 boxes to get to the Christmas decorations, but at least I know exactly where they are every December.

N: Negotiate. I have kids. I have a Christmas tree. I have a 41-year-old-back. Therefore, I work out a sort of "you scratch my back/I scratch your back" deal with them: they are given the job of removing all the ornaments they can safely reach, and I give them some sort of a treat, in the form of TV or computer time. I can't wait until they are taller.

T: Toss. While I am decorating the house in early December, I give all my Christmas decorations a good once-over. Do I really love that large cotton snowman an aunt gave us? What about the patchwork-quilt "Happy Holidays" sign for our front door? I'm not advocating throwing away your kids' love-filled art projects, but all that hideous Christmas stuff collected over the years? Get rid of it (I Freecycled mine; I never did hear how that person felt about getting my mismatched set of scary ceramic Santas).

A: Abstain. In my early-December enthusiasm, I can get a bit out of hand with the decorations. So, I try to remind myself that "What Goes Up, Must Come Down". I no longer decorate the side of the tree that faces the wall. Our front door has a pretty wreath on it, and that is all. We have some lights on the front of the house, but nothing that requires eight hours in a tree to hang. And, nothing, absolutely nothing appears that requires "fake snow", window painting or needle-shedding plants.

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Looking for even more advice on how to get your home and life organized as we start another year? Then check out the new SC Johnson website, Right@Home. They've got a ton of information on topics like cleaning your home, finding fun things to do as a family, or getting recipes for dinner tonight.

This post written for the Parent Bloggers Network.