If A Boy Goes In The Woods, Does It Still Count As Potty Training?

I once received this morsel of parenting advice from an acquaintance who potty trained her child before 2:

"You can potty train them young, and put up with accidents all over your house, or you can wait until their older, and deal with diapers longer".

To me, this was a no-brainer: you mean I can either have a pee-soaked couch or not?

So, yeah, none of my kids were out of diapers more than a couple of months before their 3rd birthday. My oldest went from diapers, to Pull-Ups, to nothing, day and night, within a couple of weeks.

My middle was a bit more of a challenge because she has "I don't have to pee" syndrome which makes a child wait until the moment of no return. Even now, at six, I have to tell her to go to the bathroom when I see her doing a sort of spastic Irish jig.

Then I got ready to potty train my last child, my son.

Oy.

We skipped past his 2nd birthday and watched the 3rd pass us by with absolutely no interest in potty training. It didn't matter if he were in diapers, pull-ups or au naturel, there was no "oops!" reaction if he went in his pants. And so I put cotton balls in my ears when my mom came over, ignored questions of "how OLD is he?" when changing his diaper in public, and prayed to the potty gods that he'd decide to get out of diapers before he started growing hair on his chin.

I was calm until we reached the summer before his fourth birthday in mid-September. FOUR was looming (as was a Disney World trip), and I was starting to sweat.

My mother, my poor mother, tried everything with him too. She just couldn't believe he didn't want to get out of diapers. But, my son has a stubborn streak in him a mile wide and wasn't going to budge.

So, she proposed he do the one thing all men seem to love to do: pee outside.

"Come and water my flowers!", she'd say cheerfully when we came to visit, totally ignoring the fact that this was completely out of character for her.

But, he did it! He LOVED peeing outside. Back at my house, he'd jump up and say, "I PEE OUTSIDE!" and I'd open the door and watch him run to the back of our yard, the thankfully wooded and private part of our property. My only concern was that if he didn't start using indoor plumbing soon, he was in for one tough winter.

Then one day, as he walked back from his potty session, I noticed something different. His shorts were in his hand. His gait looked. . .uncomfortable, as if he was dirty. I knew what he had done and ran to get the baby wipes.

While I cleaned him off, I explained that while it was ok for little boys to pee in the woods, it was definitely not easy or clean to do the other. He understood and never tried that again.

That experience also left him with about 25 mosquito bites along his bum and legs, further solidifying in his head that he would NEVER try that again.

About two weeks after that, he decided that indoor plumbing was a nice invention and never looked back.

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This post was written as part of a blog blast for Parent Bloggers Network to introduce Pull-Ups' Potty Project, a series of webisodes following the real life potty training adventures of six families. Fortunately for you, I am pretty certain that not one of these families is using the "go pee on my flowers" method of potty training.

Five PBN bloggers who participate in this blog blast will be chosen at random to win a Flip Video Camera.

This View Sees The Past and The Future

My best view is a place and a feeling all wrapped up into one.



It is a real place: a pond in Massachusetts where my grandmother lived just a few feet from the banks in her small one-bedroom house. I learned a lot of things here as a child: how a bullfrog sounds, what a sewing needle is (later learned these are really called damsel flies), how to dive, steer a canoe and know when a boy was flirting with me.



After my grandmother died, I moved into her small house and made it my own, a single working girl with her two cats, who wasn't afraid of the pitch-black nights, or the moon reflecting on the water, or the howling winds in a storm. In the summer, I'd wake up at 6am and swim before getting dressed, boarding a subway and making my way into the Boston noise. The feel of the pond would be on my skin all day, like a wonderful secret no one else knew.

When I had moved away to live with my future husband, my parents sold their home on the other side of the state and moved into this same home on the pond. I was married on the banks of the pond, overlooking that lovely water.



I brought my children there for their first summer swims, and now they are the ones who beg to feed the fish, to swim just a little longer, to look for baby turtles, just like I did so many years ago.



My grandmother, her brother, my father. . .they all lived here and are gone. But, they really aren't, not as long as I can still look out at the pond.

So, yes, it is a place. But it is also a feeling that I can summon at a moment's notice. It's a feeling of family, of friendship, of time's passing and the knowledge that I will always be a part of this place, and this view, long after I too am gone.



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This post, written along the theme of "My Best View", was written for Parent Bloggers Network to introduce Windex's new All-in-One glass cleaning tool.

How to schedule house cleaning

When I first became a "stay-at-home" mom, I realized that one thing I hated more than anything was trying to cram an entire day of housecleaning into one day. But, when I tried to do a "little here/little there", it was way too haphazard.

So, I did what I always do and made a list (lists are my tried-and-true way to feel in control). The list consisted of all the parts of the house that needed to be cleaned every week. I then made a weekly schedule for when things would get done. This is how my schedule looked:

Monday: dust & vacuum second floor
Tuesday: clean kitchen and first floor bathroom, including mop floors
Wednesday: clean upstairs bathrooms
Thursday: change cat's litter box, sweep basement steps and put out trash
Friday: dust & vacuum first floor
Saturday: wash towels
Sunday: wash sheets

Laundry happened almost daily, as needed. Every night before bed, I'd straighten out the house and the kids had to help pick up their toys. And, if I missed a day, I doubled up the next.

This all worked very nicely for years (at least five) until my husband went back to school, I started working part time and the kids' schedules got busier. And, so I decided to change my cleaning schedule to reflect my crazier lifestyle without having to compromise on the cleanliness of my home.






I hired a housecleaner.

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This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network to promote Pledge Multi-Surface Cleaner's $5000 Sweepstakes. You could win $5000 toward a Multi-Suface Home Makeover or one of 30 Pledge Prize Packs.

Why We Could Use Our Own Chickens

For most people, the week after Easter means day after day of egg salad to use up all the hard-boiled eggs.

Not here though. We go through eggs like water.

First, my husband: he takes two hard-boiled eggs to work every day for breakfast. He was working through our brightly colored Easter eggs before we even got to the holiday.

And, my two girls: they can put down 2-3 eggs in a sitting, just peeled with salt, or quickly mashed up in a sandwich (don't worry, my eight year old has a cholesterol count to envy).

So, I'd offer up a recipe for our favorite egg salad (although it really is just mayo and mustard), or some other clever way to use eggs, but there aren't any eggs left in my fridge.

Thankfully, I'm picking up four dozen today from my friend who has chickens. Yes, four dozen. That should last us a couple weeks, I hope.

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This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network to promote the American Egg Board's website of great recipes, ideas and nutritional info about the humble egg. And, did you know that the week after Easter is Egg Salad Week? So, get cracking! (ha!)

Living Naturally (and a wee bit obsessively) Through Food

I am obsessed with food.

Some people buy shoes with abandon. Others jump when they hear the words "sample sale". And still others know when new music is released and scoop up the tunes that same day.

Me? I prefer to spend my money on creamy organic yogurt, just-picked strawberries, and meat from a local farm.

Since I've become a parent, especially with one child allergic to milk, I have tried to live more naturally than I did in my days as a single workaholic. I've become much more aware of where our food comes from, how it's grown or raised and the best ways to prepare it so that it's more likely that my kids will eat it. I check the labels of everything to avoid the words "high-fructose corn syrup" and to try to limit the amount of sugar and salt in prepared foods.

Oh, and because money doesn't grow on trees (the last time I checked), I try to keep myself within a budget so that we have money for things like our mortgage and heat.

But, living naturally through food does not have to be as expensive as many think.

In a few months, I'll start my third year with a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) and, once a week, will pick up my bounty from a local organic farm. I'll start off with greens before moving into the beans, peas, tomatoes and zucchini of high summer, only to end in the fall with more greens and winter squashes. Is it expensive? Well, yes and no---since I pay for the season upfront, there is one large check to write several months in advance of any produce. But, once the vegetables start rolling in, the cost seems reasonable. It just takes flexibility and a willingness to "eat with the season".

Another low-cost but highly satisfying way to get fresh, organic veggies is to start a container garden. I plant herbs in the big containers on my front steps--the one spot in my yard that gets great sunlight most of the day. There will be basil, thyme, parsley, cilantro, sage, rosemary, oregano, chives and even a few tomato plants for months.

Once a month from June to November, I drive to a farm to pick up 20 pounds of grass-fed beef and naturally raised chicken and pork. The meat is vacuum-sealed and frozen solid. The meat ranges from $7-$8 a pound, is locally and humanely raised, and teaches the kids a little about our food chain.

I buy my eggs from a friend. My children have even collected eggs from these chickens. The cost per dozen is more than what I'd pay for the cheapest eggs in the supermarket, but it's worth it when you taste the eggs.

Another idea is to pick strawberries, blueberries and then apples. The kids love to do this and, while we always pick more than we can eat, we freeze the extras for use in pies, breads and cakes later in the season. I've also planted my own blueberry, blackberry and raspberry bushes in the hopes of producing my own fruit some year.

In the future, I hope to learn how to can foods, make pickles and jams, bake bread from scratch and make my own pasta which should be both frugal and delicious ways to enjoy the food we eat. This means I may become even more obsessed with food, but, hey, it's cheaper than most of the other obsessions out there.

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This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network to promote SC Johnson's new line of natural cleaners, Nature's Source. Nature's Source "combines simple, biodegradable, plant-based cleaners with the cleaning power of Windex and Scrubbing Bubbles, so you never have to choose between natural and effective cleaning."

Things That Go Bump in the Night

I've always been reluctant to brag about my children's sleeping habits.

For one, we were the type of freaks that, when we got a good night's sleep, did so by either sleeping with three kids in our bed, or with either my husband or I sleeping in bed with a child (often rotating zombie-like between beds to keep everyone quiet). Not exactly everyone's idea of a "good night's sleep".

The other reason I've tried to keep my mouth shut is that the minute I speak the words, "the kids are sleeping SO WELL!", the sleep gods laugh cruelly and doom me to a night of horror. Seriously it never, ever fails.

I will go out on a limb right now and say (quietly, so the sleep gods do not hear) that the nights have improved a ton now that my youngest is four and is starting the night in his sister's room. About half of the time, I still wake up with him next to me by morning, but he knows to not wake me anymore when he sneaks under the covers and pushes my head off the pillow.

And, since he is the "baby" of the family, he gets away with this. If he gets too much bigger, I'll need to grow a spine and kick him out, but for now, I'm just thankful that he still likes sleeping cuddled next to his mama.

The girls, who are now 6 & 8 aren't as likely to try to sleep next to me, but my six year old still wakes up confused, stumbles into my bed and wriggles around like a worm on the end of a hook---turns out, she has to go to the bathroom, but for whatever reason, she needs me to wake up and tell her, "Go To The Bathroom".

And then there is my oldest, who will appear next to my bed and stand sphinx-like, breathing on my face until some part of my consciousness realizes she is there and wakes up. I don't know how this hasn't freaked me out enough to karate-chop her in the head, but she should thank her lucky stars I haven't spazzed out when I find her lurking over me in the dark.

Her reason for waking me is always the same: "I had a bad dream." I never dare to ask her what the dream was because then I hear a 10-minute, blow-by-blow account of some rambling, bizarre story that never sounds scary and never makes sense. Instead, I just give her a hug and send her on her way.

I don't handle these night wakings all that well, although they are infrequent enough to be bearable now. What I'm really dreading is when they are able to go out past midnight with friends, and I'm left home waiting up for them to come home. Then, I'll wish for the uncomplicated innocence of "I had a bad dream".

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Perhaps my kids are sleeping more soundly now that they have a Sylvania PalPODzzz to light their way to the bathroom and to offer a soft night light glow as they sleep.

This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network.

Sylvania's PalPODzzz Make Bedtime a Little Brighter

Of all the things my kids do to avoid sleep, fighting over the nightlight makes me the most batty.

My oldest wants to turn on the bright nightlight that plugs into the wall, but the light shines directly into her sister's eyes .

My middle wants the one in the wall off, but the closet light on, door closed and then reopened a crack.

My son wants no light at all, and, by the way, he wants the clock unplugged (he thinks this is a nightlight, and it scares him that the time changes).

I've worked out compromises that involve moving large stuffed animals to block the light from hitting one child in the eyes but still allow the other to see its brightness. I've turned on the closet light until they fall to sleep and then go back in to shut it off before the light's buzzing wakes them up. I have given my son a sleep mask to wear at night, which is pretty hilarious to see.

So, when I was asked by Parent Bloggers Network if I'd like to try out Sylvania's new PalPODzzz portable nightlight, I was all over it.

I knew that this nightlight, which gives off a warm glow versus a harsh beam of light, could be the solution, especially since the base can be moved to be closest to the child who wants the most light.



My son, the flashlight hoarder of the household, was thrilled that the main unit can be removed from the base to become a kid-sized flashlight.

Of the two styles, rocket or ladybug, we chose rocket, mainly because I'm hoping to make our son an outer space-themed room should we ever get him out of his sisters' room.



After it arrived, I had to beat the children off with a stick* to let the unit perform its initial charge in the base. It also took me a day or two of negotiations to keep my son from sleeping with the removable rocket ship hugged to his body, but he finally understood that a rocket needs to return to its launching pad at bedtime. I will often find him "zooming" the flashlight rocket ship around the room, but he knows to put it back on its base before bedtime.



And, most importantly, the nightlight is no longer a source of stress at bedtime.

Someday, when we finally get around to cleaning out the playroom and making our son a bedroom, the rocket ship nightlight will go with him. I have already anticipated that this could cause my girls to fall back to their previous state of "nightlight anxiety" which is why I plan to grab a smiling ladybug to take the place of the rocket in their room. Hey, for under twenty bucks, I'm willing to buy a little peace at night.




*no children were really beaten with a stick during this initial charging period.

Almost 18 years of shedding, and still going strong

Meet Cally, my 17 3/4-year-old calico, short-hair cat. She is an oxymoron.



An oxymoron, because, although she has short hair, she has short hair that sheds in long silky clumps everywhere.

An oxymoron because she looks like she is mostly black and yet the fur I find everywhere is light gray.

She sheds in the middle of winter. She sheds in the dead of summer. I brush her so that she doesn't cough up big giant hairballs everywhere. And, believe it or not, we have it easy now---we used to have another cat and two cockatiels as well. Nothing compares to a cockatiel in full molt: holy feathers and birdie dust!

And, as much as I dislike finding cat hair on my (mostly) black clothing, at almost 126 in "dog years", she's earned her right to shed wherever she pleases.

Sigh, 126.

You know, I hope I have to "deal with it" for many more years, old girl.

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This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network as part of a sweepstakes sponsored by Pledge Fabric Sweeper for Pet Hair. Visit their "Show Off Your Shedder" website from February 21 to March 21. Upload a photo of your shedder(s) on their favorite piece of furniture, and you could win $5000 and a year's supply of new Pledge Fabric Sweeper for Pet Hair!

Math made fun? It's not a dream, it's Dreambox

Great things I've heard as a mom:

"I go potty!"

"More broccoli!"

and, "Mom, can I go do math?"

This last one is not something I expected to hear from my math-phobic second grader.

This is the same daughter who has driven me to purchase three separate math curricula for our home school, in an effort to find something that "clicks". The one who has caused more than one tear to be shed at the kitchen table as we struggle through lessons.

But I was fortunate to try Dreambox Learning's newly launched website on behalf of Parent Bloggers Network. Now, my daughter, who we call Belly, asks if she can run upstairs to "play" Dreambox. "Play" on an internet site whose main objective is to reinforce and teach math facts to kids in grades K-2. In fact, all three of my children (preK, Kindergarten and 2nd grade) are equally enthusiastic about getting online to play Dreambox whenever they can.

And I, being such a great mom, let them.



It is easy to see why my kids like Dreambox. They start off by picking their own avatar from a whole melting pot of cartoon characters. My son, D, enjoys this so much that he has already been a skater dude with blond hair, an African-American kid in sunglasses and a little girl in pigtails.

After picking their avatar, they are ready to play. Fortunately, navigation is very easy to understand, even for my youngest. With "Stella", the friendly guide, to show them around Dreambox land, they are able to log themselves in and play without constantly yelling, "MOM, come help!".


Of the three areas (the House, Adventure Park and Carnival), the Adventure Park is where my kids spend the majority of their time. D immediately embarked on a Pirate Adventure, while my older girls started with Dinosaurs and Fairies.


Once in an area, they were all presented with a "challenge" to help solve (for example, the pirates need help finding treasure they buried). I love the silly animation and entertaining story lines because they really draw my kids into the program and make them want to continue playing to see what happens next.

To solve a challenge, like finding that buried treasure, they complete math lessons which are structured to be in line with standards set by the National Council of Teachers of Mathematics. For those homeschoolers who are familiar with RightStart Math or Math U See, you may see the synergy with Dreambox which uses manipulatives to help kids "see" the answers and not just memorize math facts or guess at the answers. I was pleased to realize that Dreambox would work well with either of these programs in our home.


While my kids work on math lessons, they earn tokens along the way to play games at the Carnival or to "win" friends that they can later visit at their home base. This reward system is a huge incentive for them: in fact, I have to set a timer so that no one child monopolizes the computer for so long that the other two do not get a turn!

So, yes, my kids love Dreambox. But, what's so cool about Dreambox from a homeschooling mom's point of view?

* It is dynamic: as my kids are playing/learning ("plearning?") in the Adventure Park, the program is accessing how they are answering the questions. Did my four-year-old whiz through that challenge or did he seem to have trouble understanding that concepts? Did my daughter take a long time to answer that group of questions? Are there certain areas that need reinforcement?

This is not a program that plods forward, getting harder and harder with each lesson. Rather, it adjusts as it goes to make sure a child is really mastering the work before moving on to the next level.

* Accountability: If I'm going to pay for a math program to supplement what I'm teaching at home (or what my child is learning in a classroom), I want to know how my child is doing. Dreambox does a great job of keeping me in the loop with status emails. They'll even send me a friendly 'nudge' if one of my kids has not been on the site for several days.

If I want even more information, I can visit their site and get detailed reports on where they are in terms of grade-level learning. On the sample page below, the navy and orange shading indicates that the student has completed the Kindergarten-level exercises and is now beginning first grade.



Want more? They have it, including detailed descriptions of exactly what skills are being worked on in the most recent lessons. In Belly's case, her latest update included the following information:

(Belly) is solving problems by examining equal expressions within bigger ones. By learning to treat expressions as objects, rather than simply as procedures, she is building an important foundation for algebra.

(Belly) is developing the strategies of using doubles (for example, 7 + 8 = 7 + 7 + 1) and "making ten" (for example, 9 + 7 = 10 + 6) to develop automatic recall of the basic math facts (this is known as "automatizing").

* Free Trial and Guarantee: Dreambox offers new users a 14-day free trial, and a 30-day money back guarantee. You don't know how much I wish I had those options with some of the things we've bought in the past.

Remember that "I hate math" daughter of mine? Well, in about 14 days, she has already completed 66 lessons and logged seven hours on Dreambox. Best of all, she is starting to see how what she is doing online applies to what she does with her workbooks at the kitchen table.

The only thing I wish? That Dreambox went on to even higher grades. It'd be nice to have their support in a few years when we get to the really tough stuff, like Calculus.

How I keep from tipping over on the merry-go-round of my life

When people say to me, "I don't know how you do it", I want to grab them by their shoulders, look them in the eyes, and say, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!?"

I may look like I've got it all together on certain days of the week, but I am no Superwoman. I yell, cry, stress, toss-and-turn, fret and wave the white flag at regular intervals.

But, things are definitely getting better.

I've found some balance in my life by paying close attention to my needs and how those needs can be fulfilled without totally throwing my family into chaos. For instance, I may "need" to go lie on a beach for a week, alone, but that would not really work with three young kids who can barely get ready for bed without calling my name a dozen times.

So, here's some things I've done to help me keep my sanity and maintain some balance in my life without running off to the Caribbean:

1. Work. It seems to defy logic that I'd take on a part-time job to help feel more balanced, but doing something outside of mothering feels great.

2. Get help. I use some of the money I earn to pay for house cleaners to come once a week. Extravagant? Sure. But, with my husband working full time and going to school, the stress of keeping the house up (mostly) on my own was weighing heavily on me. I may bid the cleaner a sad adieu when his schooling is done, or maybe I'll figure out a way to justify it even then.

3. Blog, Facebook and Twitter. Almost all good things that lift me up since I have the greatest readers and nicest friends (online and off).

4. Reality TV. I don't know why Reality TV is such a fix for me, but when I need an hour or two to unwind, you can find me on our sagging green couch with Top Chef or Rock of Love on the tube.

5. Sleep. Oh sleep. I always hesitate to talk about sleep around other moms because, well, it sucks if you aren't getting any. Believe me, I remember those days well. And, not every night is dreamland, but, for the most part, I can get a solid eight hours if I just get off the computer and go to bed. And, feeling rested in the morning is probably the best way to get me back on track.

So, with that, I'd best sign off for the night and see if sleeping will hit the "reset" button to my brain once again.

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This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network as part of a sweepstakes sponsored by BOCA. Visit BOCA’s “Balanced Living” site to enter the BOCA “Balanced Living Challenge” for a chance to win the grand prize of $5,000!

Because Resolutions shouldn't make you feel like dirt

"I'm too flabby."

"My hair is a fright."

"I'm a selfish, antisocial, procrastinating mess."

Looking back at the New Year's Resolutions I made, it's no wonder that, two weeks later, I don't want anything to do with them. Thinking about all the ways I need to "fix" myself was like surrounding myself with bad karma.

Instead of trying to change myself, I think I need to rethink this whole Resolutions concept. And, I'm going to include the family with me as we work on doing more things for other people, rather than worrying so much about ourselves.

We're getting off to a good start.

For one, when I was given an unexpected supermarket gift card, I decided to use that money to buy food for our town's Food Pantry. I brought the kids with me to the store, and we watched our $50 turn into a modest pile of pasta, tomato paste, peanut butter and cereal boxes. We then brought the food to the Food Pantry, so that the kids could see that even in our town of relative comfort, there are people who do not have enough to eat.

Sure, I had to answer a lot of questions, such as when five-year-old Jilly asked (loudly), "Why don't some people have money?" as we passed through the small but clean corridor. But, I think that physically going to the Food Pantry was a powerful moment for us all and made the fuzzy concept of "doing something for others" a bit more real.

Other things we have done and/or plan to do in 2009:

* we gathered some toys and books the kids had outgrown and brought them to our local animal hospital to help fill their empty toy box. The kids loved knowing that children would have something to do while they wait for news about Fluffy or Spot.

* I've been a volunteer for Chemo Angels and just had my first chemotherapy patient "graduate", meaning she is newly cancer free. When I sign myself up for another patient, I am going to ask for a parent or grandparent of young children, so that the kids will have children to send notes of support to as well.

* we have visited our local MSPCA with donations of clean towels, sheets, blankets, paper towels, dog and cat toys. I never, ever want my kids to "buy" an animal from a pet store when there are so many unwanted animals sitting in shelters. I can think of no better way to imprint this on their minds than to show them the cages of cute kittens, soft bunnies and barking dogs. It's hard, but it's real.

* a local dry cleaner took our outgrown winter coats and, after cleaning them, donated them to families in need.

Hopefully, I will look back on 2009 with pride at all we did as a family and not pick myself apart for all the things I didn't do. Although, hopping on the exercise bike every now and then may not be such a bad idea.


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This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network as part of a sweepstakes sponsored by The Quaker Oats Company. If you love to start your day with hot Quaker cereals, you'll want to read about this program which donates a bowl of oatmeal to Share our Strength for every UPC code they collect from you.